White Lies
by Cavalyn
Summary: What would have happened if Naoto, in a moment of fury, rejected her shadow a few moments earlier? How long can she keep her gender a secret when Souji seems so determined to get to know "him" better? Souji/Naoto Not Yaoi . R & Review plz.
1. Acceptance

**Well a second story. Really I'm making a silly mistake in giving myself twice the responsibilities. Oh dear . . . Again this will be a lengthy fic. Probably angsty-sorta. Of course its a Souji/Naoto, but for those who seem to be a little . . homophobic, I will stress that male Souji has no romantic interest in male Naoto. **

**Hope you enjoy, read and review.**

**In my laziness in not wanting to effectively write the blooming shadow scene AGAIN! I've used the author's most lazy and possibly difficult tool (to make work well), the flashback!!!**

**As I write this I'm listening to Tynchy Stryder (sp?) and N Dubz "Number one" which is a bizarre idea lol. I can't quite imagine Souji rapping to Naoto. "Yo, I ain't gonna let nuthin get in da way, ne'er let nuthin get in da way!" For some reason though it is inspiring me in THIS writing.**

**Na Na Naiiii... lol**

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**Chapter 1 - Acceptance**

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The rhythmic tapping echoed down the corridor as her heeled shoes clacked against the panelled wooden floor of Yasogami High. Conversing groups of students subconsciously backed away to let her through as she rushed down the corridors. Lunchtime at Yasogami high was always a busy affair, but she had no time for them right now.

Naoto Shirogane was late. Tardiness was something that always annoyed her, though usually it was not herself who was the guilty party. _If only I hadn't agreed to listen to that silly girl declaring her love for me. . ._ It was an unfortunately common situation. Naoto would have laughed if it were in her range of normal actions; as such she had coldly declined the invitation, citing that she had someone to meet. Which was true.

"Yo, Naoto!" An exuberant voice called out, making her glance to the side without slowing her pace, a tall figure matched her pace easily. The mop of caramel coloured hair in a bright and friendly face. "You seem in a rush today squirt." She rolled her eyes and frowned at his teasing tone before pushing on. Normally she would have stopped to glare or at least snap back at him.

"I apologise Yosuke-San, I agreed to meet Senpai on the roof today. . ." She squeezed past a particularly belligerent student, leaving Hanamura behind. She hoped he would forgive her for that. She didn't want to seem rude or childish to him.

_You don't have the means to deal with societies two-faced nature!_

She shook her head as she took the steps to the roof two at a time. It wasn't childish to be in a hurry, or to want to keep an appointment. She would make sure to apologise to him later for brushing him off like that.

As she breached the top of the steps she squinted to block out the bright light shining directly down on her before continuing. The wire caged barriers protecting the students were the first thing she saw, before she quickly looked at the usual spot in search of her friend. It was empty. For a moment her heart dropped as she imagined she had either taken too long, or had been made a fool of.

"Naoto!" A voice behind her called, making her start in surprise. Instead of sitting on the wall towards the centre of the roof she noticed her silver-haired senpai was sat in some shade beside the door. The rest of the roof was empty, it was simply too hot. She quickly knelt down beside him with her head bowed in slight shame.

"Senpai! I'm sorry I'm late . . . I got stuck-" He silenced her with a quick laugh before patting the floor next to him, urging her to sit. She didn't need any further encouragement as she let herself flop unceremoniously down into the shade, surprised at how out of breath she actually was.

"Another admirer, Naoto?" The taller boy asked with a hint of humour in his voice. She let out an undignified snort as she opened a bottle of water and took a long drink, relishing the refreshing coolness in the blistering midday sun.

"They won't ever learn Senpai, I had expected they might avoid me if I was harsh to some." It had seemed logical anyway, who would approach a man who so cruelly turned them away? Apparently quite a few people!!

"You could always just accept one of them Naoto." She snorted at this, "Or do you have your sights set higher? Yukiko-san maybe?" This time she gave no answer, simply opening her bento and taking a savage bite out of a lettuce and tomato sandwich. Senpai always seemed to talk about this, but then so did Hanamura-san.

"You need not worry Senpai. I will not compete with you there." She said it seriously, but knew it would amuse him also. As predicted he laughed whilst shaking his head in denial.

"You know I don't like any of them like that Naoto." He got out between his soft laughter. Indeed she did know this, it had been only a week since she had returned to school after her kidnapping, but they had become firm friends since then. She couldn't understand why he had become as such with her, clearly Yosuke would have been the more logical choice, with his easy-going and pleasant manner. Perhaps it was their intelligence that had brought them closer together? Not that she was suggesting the others were lacking in that area, but she and Souji both seemed to think on similar terms.

They continued to eat in comfortable silence for a few more minutes, Naoto simply enjoying being in the presence of someone who actually liked her. It was a heady feeling to know that this person, whose skin was barely three inches from hers, actually enjoyed her company. That knowledge, however, brought its own guilt with it. Before she could get lost in her thoughts her Senpai interrupted.

"Have you recalled anything about your kidnapping Naoto?" She glanced out of the corner of her eyes at him only to see he wasn't watching her intently. She let out a small sigh as she stared out into the distance through the criss-crossed wire fence.

"Unfortunately not. I can still recall that someone rang the doorbell of my apartment. Whomever kidnapped me was clearly not worried of drawing attention to him, or her, self. That speaks of a high level of confidence, especially knowing who I am. When I answered the door I was struck strongly across the temple and fell unconscious." That had been a little galling. Though she had set herself up as bait, expecting to be kidnapped, she would have been quite happy to apprehend the criminal right there.

_When she had awoken it was hard steel floor that had greeted her, alien sounds assaulted her ears, some combination of beeping computers, old machinery, and laughter. She had pushed herself to a kneeling position, surprised to find she was not tied or bound in some way. She had not been locked alone in a cell either. It looked more like . . . an operating theatre. A large metallic bed with over-sized saws and strange rods pointed at it. She realised as she looked at the bed that she was not alone._

_As the small figure in a too-long white lab coat turned to regard her, she felt her heart stop. She was looking at herself. _

"I remember waking up, then soon after you came. Despite my words, I had only been awake for a few moments." A soft smile came over her lips at the memory.

_"It's about time you arrived, do you have any idea how long I have been forced to spend with this child?"_

She went silent for a few moments, her mind wandering over that. If he had been a child, then that meant she was also. After all, he was her, in all senses. Souji appeared to notice her silence because he shifted on his rear so he was facing her. A soft hand nudged her shoulder to catch her attention.

"You're thinking of your shadow again? I've told you there was nothing to be ashamed of. We all have a part of ourselves like that." Despite herself she smiled at his kind words, that was just like him. To want to protect everyone, not just physically, but emotionally. He was special like that.

"Not so much ashamed as embarrassed. Could you imagine me acting like that?"

_"No. No, no, no, don't go! Why are you leaving me alone? It's so lonely . . . I don't wanna be alone!" The words, delivered with so much trapped emotion and grief had stung her in her chest. _

"There's no need to be embarrassed either. You're not the only one who feels lonely." She looked at him then in shock, how could he feel lonely with how his friends regarded him? "I think it spoke in such a childish manner to put you on edge." She nodded whilst looking away from him, that much she had realised on her own. The shadow needed her to reject it, in order for it to manifest. In that sense, it had needed her to be off-guard and not thinking properly. She was pleased that her shadow showed a deviously intelligent side at least. Though it had soon thrown that approach out the window. . .

_The harsh, mocking laughter echoed loudly around the confined steel room they stood in._

"_These childish gestures are no mere affectation, they're the truth! The fools all say it... you're only a child! Keep out of our business kid! and so forth. No matter how many cases you spend hours cogitating over, you're a child in their eyes! It's your brain they're interested in. . . that grey matter locked in your skull. As long as they need it you're an ace detective! But once you're done, its back to the playpen with you. You haven't the means to deal with society's two faced nature... you're just a lonely child!" _

With the benefits of hind sight she could see that it had been an intelligent assault on her psyche. Slowly building up the evidence before rolling through her defences with its momentum. Even now she could feel her hands wanting to curl into fists, she dispersed the tension with a deep sigh however.

"In reality I agreed with everything it said," she found herself admitting reluctantly, "it was right, the police _were_ dismissive of me. I had thought after a few solved cases they would respect my intelligence as an equal. That never seemed to happen though." Why couldn't they simply accept the truth that was so obvious. Even the media, who dubbed her detective prince, could see she was a worthwhile detective.

"Perhaps they felt threatened or bitter. You shouldn't let them bother you. We appreciate you, and I won't throw you away after this is over. You're my friend." He gave her a grin that was filled with too much cheek, and she smiled in return, closing her eyes and leaning her head back against the cool bricks.

"I wonder if I should have simply accepted what my shadow was saying though, if I had done that, would things have been better?" She had not at all had the strength to admit the truth to herself, but it was a hypothesis that was worth exploring. After all, they knew not who else they might need to rescue. Souji leaned back and seemed to be in deep thought.

"I don't think so." He trailed off and she had to give him a quick nudge with her foot to his shin to get him to continue. "I think our Persona is a strength we gain from facing and accepting our darker selves. If we simply accepted it straight out, it might not manifest as a fighting force. Yours was quite . . . " he paused and she turned an angry expression on him, daring him to finish the words. "Diminutive?" He tried with a smile and some laughter in his voice. She gave him another, harder kick in his shin, shaking her head as he pulled his leg back to cradle it.

"Seriously though Naoto. Don't worry about what's going to happen. I'm glad we got to meet like that, I really feel like I can trust you." His smile was genuine as he looked into her eyes. Naoto felt her stomach flip at his words, pleasure warring with intense guilt and shame.

_Her breathing was coming out in shallow gasps as she clenched her fists angrily, the sharp pain of her nails drawing blood serving only to make her angrier._

_"There's no avoiding first principles! Accept that you're a child, and accept that there's nothing you can do about it! Now come . . let us start with the body alteration procedure.. . you have no objections do you? __**Naoto**__ Shirogane?" The emphasis he placed on her name was unmistakeable, as was the disgustingly smug expression on his face and in his amber eyes. Naoto felt something snap inside her. Perhaps it was her sanity._

_"Stop it!" She screamed in unrestrained fury. "You don't know me, you're nothing like me!"_

_The raucous laughter became deeper and more painful to her abused mind as shadows seemed to gather around the figure. She remembered the pounding in her skull becoming too powerful to withstand and she fell to the floor, blood dripping from her nose as her eyes closed._

"We've been through some tough times. I for one will be glad to have someone I can trust by my side." He continued, apparently not noticing how Naoto was looking at her hands, limply resting on her half-eaten bento. Her appetite suddenly forgotten.

They were interrupted as the five minute warning bell sounded, startling the both of them to their feet. Her Senpai standing another foot above her.

"Ah Hell." He cursed with a confused frown on his face. "Hey, I guess I'll see you tomorrow. Don't think on things too much Naoto. You're a great guy." He patted her shoulder in a comradely fashion as he hastily descended the steps back into the school. Naoto stood a little longer on the roof, her eyes still looking at the floor between her feet. A deep sickness having settled in her stomach.

"No. I'm really not." She mumbled to herself as her right hand clenched into a fist. She hated lying to him of all people. He accepted her, welcomed her, respected her. Befriended her. He told her things, confided in her, and seemed to want to know her better. Or rather, to know _him_ better. . .

_It's just a little white lie right? It can't hurt anyone._ As she turned and began the descent back to her classroom she knew she would be late and probably punished. She couldn't bring herself to care however. _It is hurting me though . . . _

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**Well here's the first chapter. Hope some people liked it, it's really just setting the scene. The amusing stuff should come later. I'll suggest a few things. Ha ha. Doctor's Checkup. Amagi Baths. Beauty Pageant. Guys night out. Staying over at Souji's. **

**Shortish Chapter.**

**Please review if you enjoyed. **

**From my homyyyyy to my onlyyyy.... number One! (hey, it IS a good song)**


	2. Finding Naoto

**Hmm. Meh. Here is chapter 2, not too sure on it myself. I am in a serious hurry since I wrote this in my dinner hour at work. Kind of necessary since I won't be writing for half a week due to being at an exhibition for my magazine. **

**So yeah. Probably full of mistakes, though at least in this office I have the benefit of Spellcheck, which I don't have at home. **

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**Chapter 2 – Finding Naoto**

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The rattling of the classroom door sliding open caught everyone's attention. Naoto couldn't help flinching as almost twenty pairs of eyes turned to stare at her small frame, standing in the doorway. She realised it was somewhat of a social faux-pas for an underclassman to barge into a second year room like this. Instead of worrying about it, she chose to ignore it completely.

She briskly made her way over to her friends, choosing not to meet the eyes of anyone else. It was unusual for a first year student to have such a close relationship with their Senpai. Naoto wondered if that fact might have added to the amount of people in his own year who seemed to idolise her, or want to befriend her.

"Sorry to bother you Senpais." She apologised with a quick bow of her head, both as an apology but also to hide the small blush she sported. Souji had smiled at the mere sight of her. No, him.

"Hello Naoto-kun, is anything wrong?" Chiie Satonaka asked, tilting her head to the side. He shook his head in reply.

"No. I was wondering if you were all free after school today?" They regarded her with confused expressions but all nodded to show they were available. "I had taken the liberty of booking Teddie in to see a doctor. I thought it might be the first step to figuring out what he is. At the same time, I felt it might be a good idea to have all of checked out." The four upperclassmen looked at each other for a few moments, seeming to communicate without words.

"Check us up?" Yukiko queried. Apparently they didn't understand her concerns.

"As well as possibly offering us some information on Teddie, we have no idea what being in the television world might be doing to our bodies. There could easily be some negative side effects." Her words seemed to startle them, Yosuke leapt to his feet from having been sat on his desk.

"Don't just drop worrying stuff like that on us!" He complained with a forlorn expression on his face. Naoto couldn't help the small smile that came to her face at his over-dramatic actions.

"Better safe than sorry Senpai. I have explained to Rise-san and Kanji-kun and they have agreed to be there." To say they had agreed might be a little far-fetched. Kanji had been incredibly skittish at the idea, at first she had thought him worried of being inspected by a doctor. Turned out he was simply terrified that a needle might be necessary. She had been forced to promise him she would not commission a blood test unless there was something seriously wrong with him. Rise had been quite uncaring, explaining that she was often sent to the doctors to make sure she was at the best of health.

"That sounds like a good idea Naoto." Souji spoke, making the others turn to regard him. "I had not thought of such a thing, I'm sure we will all be there." The others agreed with his words, convinced now that she had his backing.

"Thank you Senpai." She spoke bowing before dismissing herself and heading back to tell the others the news. She wondered if the tests would reveal anything on their confusing blonde ally.

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As was usual procedure they had all been separated for their individual check-ups. Naoto had pulled some strings to get them all checked out at the same time, rather than force them to wait. Simply mentioning her name and that the information was important to the public safety, was enough to open some doors. If gather some strange looks.

Naoto herself had been led into a white-walled and clean room by an elderly male doctor who had immediately began checking her temperature and blood pressure with professional ease. It wasn't long until the more embarrassing part of the inspection was to take place.

"Naoto-kun, I need you to get into this robe, you can keep your boxers on. I assure you I am a trained and professional doctor." The old man's expression showed that he was woefully used to people being skittish in this. Naoto shook her head anyway, holding the thin material away from her.

"Doctor, I would feel much more comfortable if a female nurse could do this." No amount of dressing like a man had inured her to being seen undressed by one!

"I am sure you would Naoto-kun, but I cannot leave a young man undressed with a nurse. Now come." He strode to her and began to help her out of her dark school blazer. She couldn't help the blush that shot to her cheeks at what was happening.

"Wa-wait-, stop!" He was surprisingly adept at getting her out of her jacket, worryingly so, but she managed to scoot away from him.

"Mr Shirogane, I assure you I have done this a thousand times. You certainly have nothing I have not seen before in a professional sense."

"Somehow I doubt that . . ." The words slipped out of her mouth before she could stop them, but she stopped struggling. She would have to explain to him, she realised. "Sir, please take a closer look at my profile. I assure you all will be explained." The man shrugged and picked up her card, taking the time to read it carefully for any details he may have missed. She could only assume he had found it as his face reddened and he backed away.

"Ah." He let out, letting his voice draw off uselessly as he looked uncomfortable. "I'll. . . go get a nurse then. I guess you have a reason for this, I'll keep it quiet." She nodded in thanks as he headed to the door. "I would advise you to undress to your underwear, there is a sheet on the bed if you need it." He quickly exited and his footsteps receded into the distance.

_God. . . how embarrassing. For the both of us. _She thought to herself, as she unbuttoned her white shirt, laying it carefully over her black jacket on a chair. Her breasts were held flat by a strong wrap of bandage that she applied each morning. Over the years she had grown used to the pressure and discomfort. It felt the worst if she accidentally caused it to bunch together, she could literally spend an hour each morning, making sure it was flat and well wrapped.

The bandages pooled on the floor as she unwrapped them, wincing as her abused and sore breasts bounced out of their confines. A light blush appeared on her cheeks. For her size she was quite well endowed, something that caused her more hassle than pride. Obviously she could not wear a bra under the bandages, or the straps would give her away. Besides, the bandages worked as support just as well. It didn't really matter if a nurse saw her breasts anyway, undoubtedly she would be prodding, measuring and performing other intrusive tests. Naked from the waist up and devoid of her cap she unbuckled her trousers and slipped them down her smooth legs, she was just pulling her feet from the folds when she heard the door open and close. She looked up from her precarious position and her eyes widened in terror.

"Hey Naoto, I'm all done how're yo- . . ." The wide silver eyes of her Senpai looked at her, his voice trailing off into silence as his body seemed to freeze like a deer in the headlights. Her heart was pounding in her chest at the situation. He knew, he knew the truth… Now he would turn her away, furious at her having broken his trust. She was standing before him with all her secrets bare.

Wait. Bare?

A girlish scream tore from her lips as she stumbled backwards, her hands flying to cover her exposed breasts from his wide eyes. Her feet tangled in the fabric of her trousers and she fell back onto the bed, her pale blue panties showing to him. A full body blush took over her, as one hand went down between her legs to try and cover herself. Her pale legs pressed together.

"Ah-ah-…. I-" The words apparently came from his lips though they made no sense. She saw him shake his head to gather himself. "I'm sorry! I entered the wrong room I'm looking for my friend!" His face went a dark red with an expression of total mortification taking over him. Naoto felt her sudden fear diminish a little. He didn't know!? Didn't recognise her!? Of course, it made sense. She always kept her hat tightly pressed onto her head, had a flat chest, wore a baggy jacket. He couldn't recognise her at all!

That didn't stop the embarrassment that took over her. Why was he still in her room!? She wet her lips as she tried to form the words that seemed to be stuck in her throat. She couldn't meet his penetrating eyes as they looked at her.

Looked at her!? Her eyes snapped to his, only to see that his eyes were not quite meeting her own. Instead they seemed to be trailing up and down her figure, inspecting her.

"Wh-what are you doing?!" She managed to gasp out, letting her female voice shine through. She couldn't let him figure out who he was talking to! Still, she had never taken Souji for a pervert! Yet here he was, undeniably making elevator eyes at her. Her blush grew stronger. She wondered what he thought of her . . .

"What the HELL is going on here!?" A female voice shouted in sudden shock, drawing both their eyes to the door, where a nurse stood, her eyes sharp. Souji apparently seemed to realise just how dangerous a situation he was in. Naoto took the chance his eyes left her to grab the thin white sheet and draw it across her body.

"Ahh! I'm sorry it was a mistake, I swear!" The grey haired youth stammered out before making a break for it. The nurse let him pass though Naoto could hear some ruckus as the door closed. She placed her head in the palm of her hand, hoping her Senpai didn't make too much of a scene.

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Naoto opened the doors of the hospital and stepped out into the dimming light as she searched for her friends. She had finished and had Teddie with her, but couldn't find the group in the waiting room. Sure enough she spotted them across the road, apparently conversing. She walked towards them with a sigh.

"Ha ha, bwa ha. He-… hey Naoto!" Yosuke called between his loud laughter, almost choking on her name. She raised an eyebrow at him as she looked at the others. The girls were alternating between laughing and looking at Yosuke sternly. Kanji looked embarrassed and Souji looked . . . mortified.

"Why are you all out here?" Naoto asked curiously. Souji's shoulders seemed to slump as Yosuke almost fell over laughing.

"Souji got kicked out!" He suddenly exclaimed in a breathing moment, before succumbing to his mirth. Naoto blushed in embarrassment but hid it by looking at the floor. "Ah dude…" The young Hanamura laughed, "He walked in on some naked chick, got a good look I hear!" Chiie smacked him back of the head as she sighed.

"The poor girl was probably terrified." She shouted angrily. Naoto tried to ignore the embarrassment that was warring within her as she sought to catch everyone's attention.

"It wasn't my fault!" Souji defended as he waved his hands in front of his face. "I thought it was Naoto's room!" Everyone turned to look at the young detective, who simply raised an eyebrow.

"I was speaking with the head doctor about Teddie." A lie of course, but they would not know that.

"Senpai's perversions aside." She spoke, ignoring the startled squawk the man let out. "I have the medical results for Teddie here. They were unable to find out anything. No in-depth examinations yielded any results. X-rays came up blurred. According to basic tests and palpations, he is perfectly healthy." The group became more sombre at that news, silently wondering what Teddie even was.

"This silence is un-bear-able!" The blonde suddenly shouted, waving some white papers over his head. "So to break the ice, I will read out the results of everyone's physical exams! Time to _bear_ the truth!"

Teddie froze on the spot as a cool barrel touched his side, drawing his attention down to Naoto's stressed eyes. The entire group let out a nervous laugh.

"Mine." She spoke with one hand outstretched, accepting her results. She was too high strung right now to deal with Teddie blurting her gender or measurements out or some such silliness. She took the gun away once her information was safe. "Go ahead. I'm headed home."

As she walked away from the group she heard the sounds of struggling and yelping, which she could only assume was Chiie breaking bones again. She was being very rude she knew, and pulling a gun on Teddie was unacceptable. There had just been too many close calls today, she felt like she wanted to get back to her apartment, lock the door, then just collapse.

Such desires were quickly quashed as she heard someone running after her. She started a little as a hand descended on her shoulder, but relaxed as she was used for support while the other caught their breath. She turned to see Souji panting, she forced away her slight blush as she regarded him.

"What is it Senpai? Or should I call you ero-senpai?" He groaned at her joke but smiled. She felt her stomach flip a little at that expression. It was simply too difficult to speak to him this soon after he had seen her naked!

"Glad to see you're embracing your sense of humour Naoto. Though if you call me that I'll spread rumours around school that you're looking for a girlfriend." She chuckled at his good natured teasing as she shook her head. Agreeing to his terms.

"Sorry Senpai, what did you need?" He seemed to pause for a moment before looking away, a deep blush taking over his features as he fidgeted. _That _surprised her, what could possibly be bothering him so much?

"Well. . . I-." He trailed off and she patiently waited for him to continue. "Naoto, you're a detective. . . can you find missing people?"

"Of course, I can. Is something wrong? Is Nannako-chan.." She did not bother to hide the concern in her voice but he quickly shook his head.

"No, no. They're fine. Well, can you find people. . . like from descriptions?" She raised an eyebrow at his fumbling questions.

"Sometimes all we have for evidence is a description of a person. We do our best and if we put clues together then we can sometimes find the person. Why?" Had he found some clue on the killer, from which they could track him down. It would not be much to work with, but it would certainly help them if they were to watch over the next victim!

"No. Well. There was- I . . . " Again he trailed off. Naoto's curiosity and patience got the better of her however.

"Senpai. Just speak now. Or I _will_ shoot you." She didn't make any movement towards her weapon, nor would she. His eyes widened anyway.

"Ah wait! I want you to help me find this girl I met at the doctors!" His face went red as he hung his head in embarrassment. Which was fortunate, as Naoto's eyes were wide and her face was also white.

"What?!" She choked out, unable to control how fast her heart was pounding. She almost expected the hospital to call her back right now and treat her for a heart attack.

"Ah, forget it! I'm sorry. See you tomorrow!" He quickly ran off in the opposite direction, never once turning to look at her. It started to gently rain before Naoto managed to rouse herself to begin heading home. _What the hell is happening!? Souji wants me to help in finding me!? What the hell do I do now!?_

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**Oh dear Naoto. I'm sure this will bite you soon! What interest does Souji have in this mysterious woman he perved on?**

**R+Review. Sorry for rushed quality of chapter. Writing for a magazine means I can do some serious speed-writing when necessary.**


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